Here is my home birth story, our little boy Toby came into the world on Friday 19th July at 3.19am weighing 9lb 6oz.
I had hoped for a home birth after the birth of my first child Reuben, 4 years ago. I loved the thought of being at home, in my own surroundings where I could make it relaxed, calming and beautiful.
I didn't mention my plans for a home birth to many people as I didn't want to feel any pressure or hear any negative opinions, I know people can have mixed feelings on home birth, but I felt confident as the benefits far outweighed the risks for me.
Did you know that...
- For a second time mum homebirth is perfectly as safe as a hospital birth?
- You are less likely to have to have a medical intervention, even if you were transferred to hospital just because you had prepared for a homebirth.
- You are birthing in your own environment, one which is full of your own microbiome and not a hospital environment that is full of other peoples bacteria and many other bugs.
- At home you are more relaxed and calm, because it is your own space, you feel more in control and so less fear is present, fear is a massive factor in slowing down or hindering the birth process so this ensures that more oxytocin is present, rather than adrenaline.
- You have two Midwives present, one to support you and one for the baby, much more support than in a birth centre, where one Midwife could be looking after more than one woman at a time.
- You (obviously) dont have to transfer in (unless you wanted or needed to) so no "umming and arring" about the right time to do this and dealing with that uncomfortable ride into hospital.
These are the main reasons why we chose a homebirth, but there are many more benefits!
So, the very early stages of labour started after Love Island on the Wednesday night, again, I hadn't told many people my estimated due date as I did not want the added pressure of people texting and discussing it with me, I know this may have been frustrating for some, but I can't tell you the relief when the 12th July hit and not a soul messaged me to ask "when the baby was getting here?" I know they would only be well wishes, but as that overdue pregnant lady it's the most frustrating of times, I didn't want to put any pressure on my body.
There was a full moon due the following week and I felt it was more accurate to plan around that, as my monthly cycles had synced up with the moon and Reuben was born the night of a full moon too. Most of all I had a 'feeling' about it. The following week was also closer to my own estimated due date of the 18th.
So it was the Wednesday evening, I started feeling pressure in my pelvic area and felt the baby was moving around alot down there, I felt tiny surges but knew it was very early on so slept through the niggles, the next morning I told my husband, Darren, that it had started but was very mild so he took the day off work.
That morning I knew it was probably the last time we would be a family of three, before our little boy went off to pre-school, so we got some music on, did some dancing and messing around, it was a lovely morning, every time I had a surge I breathed through it and Reuben mimicked me, it was so cute!
Darren took Reuben to Pre-school and he came back to help with my surges, we put the Tens machine on and that helped the niggly surges that lasted all day, they seemed to come around every 10-15 minutes my mucus plug had also been coming away slowly throughout the day.
We had a lovely chilled out day, watching the Greatest Showman, snoozing, relaxing and working through the surges. Darren went to get Reuben and when he got back I decided to get on the birth ball and put some good music on, which my friends had helped me to put together. I bounced around to some of the best RnB and Reuben shook his little hips to make me giggle! Off to bed he went at 7pm and then things ramped up. (I think I had been waiting to relax when he went to bed, knowing he was safe, and then I felt I could focus more on my body).
Darren called the Midwives to let them know things had progressed and I was now having surges every 5/6 minutes.
Our first Midwife Zoe arrived and we had a chat in our bedroom, the surges kept coming which was great, (sometimes they can slow down if there is a change in environment, much like when some women go into a hospital environment) Zoe said she had seen my usual Midwife, Lynn at hospital that day and her and the other Midwife, due to come out to us had had a catch up so they understood all about me and had read my 3 page birth plan! (as you can imagine!)
Zoe was so lovely, she made me feel at ease and let me concentrate on my surges as I needed it. Zoe examined me and explained that I was 2cm dilated and that my cervix was nice and thin, I was so glad I had done most of the hard work, my cervix took along time to thin and efface with my first birth.
Darren was topping up the pool and trying to get it to the 36/37C mark (unfortunately this kept dropping which was quite frustrating, I have never seen Darren boil so many kettles, it was hard work for him!)
We moved through to our birth room which was all set up and I continued to have surges in a kneeling position against the sofa. I started to shake alot, I asked Zoe for advice she said it would be the adrenaline and not to worry, to stay calm and keep breathing through as I was. I tried to eat a biscuit but was a little sick, I don't think I needed food but some energy, so I took a Dextro tablet to give me a boost, it really helped.
I carried on for a little while but it was super hot in the room as it was a smallish room and the pool was so warm, I asked Zoe for gas and air, I took some as each surge started and it helped me to relax, the surges were very strong at the start so it was quite hard to build the gas and air up to the peak of the surge, I kept drinking lots of water to ensure I was hydrated.
Zoe checked me again at around 12pm and I was 4cm, waters were bulging and ready to pop, I got into the pool, the relief was amazing, and I kept working through the surges with the gas and air, it ran out and so I needed to wait for the next Midwife, Rachel to bring some more.
I used my breathing techniques to work through the surges without the gas and air and took it moment by moment, I looked at the affirmations that I had put up around the pool and I just kept thinking I need to breathe and stay calm for my baby.
After a while the surges were still coming but I was feeling like it wasn't moving on to that next stage, I felt things had slowed. Rachel our second Midwife had arrived and brought more gas and air so I had some of that, I realised that the surges I had had without the G&A seemed to be making more progress than with it, so I tried to have a break from it.
Still I felt it wasn't reaching the downwards stage, I felt like I really wanted to work with my surges but there was nothing there to work into.
I asked Zoe what she thought I should do, she said that we still have lots of time and sometimes these things can take abit longer. But she said maybe try to go to the toilet and have some time out of the pool and off the G&A completely.
I went into the toilet and sat there, opening my body up, then came 3 surges quickly that really pulled things on, I was doubtful I could take much more without the pain relief, but I could see already how it was helping to be off it, I could work with my body better. I made a conscious decision in that moment to let go and just to go with it, it was time for this baby to come. I asked Darren to put some clary sage essential oil onto a tissue and I inhaled it, to help my uterus and surges strengthen. I knew it was time to work with this.
I stood up, the Midwives said they were going to leave me to it, but I asked them to stay, instinctively I needed them both there.
I dropped to my knees outside of the bathroom and I had to surrender, I could feel my waters bulging, I had to work with it and breathe down. I looked at Rachel, and she told me I could do it, that my body could do it, I just needed to trust it.
3 surges and Toby was born. I roared him into the world, it was a raw, animal sound that came from deep within.
Surge 1 - his waters broke. Surge 2 - his head was born - 3.17am Surge 3 - his body was out 3.19am.
Darren was telling me to go slowly and that I could do it, I needed that reassurance.
It all happened within about 5 minutes.
From 4cm at 12am to 10cm and Toby being born at 3.19am!
Wow, I was shell shocked, Rachel and Zoe were congratulating us, I wasnt in the room, I was somewhere else, Zoe had helped him to be born and was kneeling behind me, she caught him and I looked back over my right shoulder, a purple slippery baby was in her arms, she passed him through my legs and I pulled him up to my stomach and held him.
I looked down at him and his eyes were open looking at me.
I cant believe how quickly it had happened. He cried and within a few minutes Reuben came into the room to meet his little brother.
It was amazing. It was THE hardest thing ever. But something took over me, I felt wild and it was so powerful.
I had always wondered whether I could take the intense feelings without the relief of gas and air, and I did, the intensity was undeniable but that's what brought him to me.
We settled with him on me whilst I waited for the placenta to be born, we had planned for a physiological birth of the placenta, this is where it stays attached to the baby until it is born, to ensure that the baby gets the most it possibly can from the organ that had nourished my baby for so long.
It was around 4.01am when the placenta was born, it was an immense feeling of pressure in my bum, I stood up and out it plopped, caught by Zoe again! She caught it in a plastic bowl as I wanted to keep it so that I could have it made into capsules to consume after the birth.
A little while later when the cord was thin and white, Darren cut the cord, I took a picture of Toby still attached, he loved playing with the cord.
Rachel then gave my placenta a good thorough MOT, taking the clots off it and ensuring it was nice and healthy, it looked great, I was fascinated by it.
I still had hold of Toby and was investigating his little body, so like Reuben when he was born with similar features and a big mop of black hair.
Zoe checked me over and saw I had a minor tear, probably because he came so quick, she stitched me up and I had a lovely chat with the Midwives. Zoe had also put pressure on my perineum when Toby was born, this helped to ease him into the world, I had also prepared my body by doing perineal massage in the weeks before birth so that this area of my body was supple, and used to the sensations that birth would bring.
After the birth I went into my room, had a shower and got into my own cosy bed...absolute bliss. Toby fed from me and he was very content.
Reuben handed out cakes (as it was his brothers birthday!) and we chatted some more whilst the Midwives filled out paperwork and weighed him.
We had done it! It was amazing.I will never forget it, what a wonderful experience
.